I have always had a dream of having a successful business of my own.  I could very easily have this dream, but time is such a fleeting thing.  I spend a lot of time babysitting my grandchildren, who are young and so enjoyable.  However, this leaves me little time for creating.  I know, what person does not have time issues?  If I made a timeline for my life, I am sure I would be dismayed at all the wasted moments spent on meaningless crap. 

I have spent so much of my life living by society's shoulds, that I have forgotton how to live a life that is exactly what I want it to be.  I have always been, a good daughter, a good student, a good wife, a good mother, a good grandmother, a good housekeeper (okay, maybe just a fair housekeeper).  So, I have lived up to the standards of others, but who am I?  Sometimes, I fear that I will look in a mirror and there will me no one looking back at me.  There is so little of me because I give so much of myself to others, I don't have much left for myself sometimes.  I know it is hard for others to understand, but I have a hard time saying no.  This has always been a standard I have lived by.  Time is ticking away and I have never asked myself what I would want to do.  In my mind I see myself doing something really outrageous and bold, but the inner me still hears the voices that hold me back.  What would others say, what would they think of me?   Old patterns are hard to break.  

I hope to find a way to reconcile the imbalances of my life.  Time for me, time for my family, time to give back to others.